


Love It If We Made It

by rendezv0us



Series: When everything's meant to be broken [1]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 14:34:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16097630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendezv0us/pseuds/rendezv0us
Summary: This is part of a series of spin-off oneshots/drabbles from my ongoing Heelip longfic: Rendezvous.





	Love It If We Made It

**Author's Note:**

> Modernity has failed us.

Heejin is tired of thinking about Kim Jungeun and all of their little rendezvous. It's been years, they don't talk anymore. The girl she knew and loved so much isn't there no more, now is just an empty shell and she feels sick. Jungeun was rough in the edges, not inside out. Now she's just a stranger anyway, someone that Heejin may not even be able to recognize if they'd ever crossed the same street.

 

Thankfully, they have entirely different paths now.

 

She is an actress, finding her voice in little musicals (that's her pride and joy) and dramas that are taking over the television. It all started with commercials, though, she has been doing them since high school. Now, after a very successful minor character, she's having her first major role. She should be paying attention to that, she should be going through her papers, she should be rehearsing all the script again, even though she did it a couple of times already. It must be perfect -perfect like they've been to each other a couple of years ago. 

 

The girl,  _ oh no _ , she isn’t a girl anymore. Her innocence is long gone and forgotten. The whole thing is lost, just like her entire perfect relationship that was never perfect in the slightest since the beginning, but it was good enough for her. Perfection doesn't fucking exists and Heejin knows that so well, but she still tries so hard and she's so tired that she can't even swallow her food properly. She isn't hungry to begin with, she doesn't feel the need of food for months now. The media loves it, how great her diet is and how thin her waist has become.

 

She is a woman, between twenty one or twenty three now, she can't remember herself. Is so easy to lose the track of time, she could swear that last year she was entangling her fingers in gray locks that were all over her thighs. How much she loves that hot breath touching her skin, red Lips marking her all over the skin, burning her whole, and how pathetic it is to think about this now. Heejin has a boyfriend now, that treats her like a queen  _ 'His russian princess' _ , she hates his bad jokes and his morning breath. He's just in his way to her apartment and she feels sick to say the least.

 

Heejin doesn’t hate him, she just doesn’t feel a thing. 

 

She can only hate Jungeun, yet she doesn't.

 

She shouldn't be going to old playlists and thinking about the girl that hated her guts, she shouldn't be so bothered about how far away she was now, or how far away she was now  _ but _ close to someone way better than her. There was the girl that follows, but Heejin is the girl that runs away. And the girl that follows doesn't follow her,  _ no _ , maybe everything was meant to be broken since the very start. 

 

Fuck the first time that they kissed in that  _ damn _ party, fuck that their friends helped, fuck that she couldn't choose the one that loved her more.

 

Fuck that Heejin had to put a halt on things and decided to get her best friend instead. That was wicked, though it was only her instincts calling for some sort of revenge, for all the things they couldn't ever become, and her well-known self-hatred kicking in.

 

Heejin would love it if they made it, she can't deny, not to herself. She loved thinking that their love was beyond imagination, that their love was far away from the reach of the world. 

 

It wasn't. 

 

Their love shattered, like everything else does, the broken pieces are the little remains. She is a broken piece herself, but she's a woman now. All she wants is to face Jungeun once again, the keeper of her dreams, the owner of her innocence, her long gone spontaneous laugh and only happiness, to say:

 

"Oh, fuck your feelings." She could take a deep breath after, as she continues. "And fuck you Kim Jungeun."

 

Only if she could kiss her after.

 

She lost count of how many times she rehearsed that, instead of her scripts.

 


End file.
